25 Legal Laughs

 

Laughter is the best medicine, and it’s no different in the legal world. From witty one-liners to humorous anecdotes, lawyers have been known to use humor to break the tension and lighten up serious situations.

In this article, we’ve compiled a list of 25 hilarious legal jokes that will make you laugh out loud. So sit back, relax, and enjoy these legal laughs.

1. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

 

 

 

2. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three – one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to file a lawsuit against the ladder company.

 

 

 

3. What do you call an attorney who tries cases in outer space? A sky-litigator.

 

 

 

4. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

 

 

 

5. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the bar association.

 

 

 

6. How does an attorney sleep at night? First, they lie on one side, then they lie on the other.

 

 

 

7. Why do lawyers make great lovers? They’re used to screwing people over.

 

 

 

8. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor.

 

 

 

9. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? The cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.

 

 

 

10. How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you slice them.

 

 

 

11. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more per hour.

 

 

 

12. How do you know when a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.

 

 

 

13. Why did the lawyer go broke? Too many lawsuits, not enough class-action settlements.

 

 

 

14. What’s black and brown and looks good on an attorney? A Doberman Pinscher.

 

 

 

15. How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say “fees”!

 

 

 

16. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers swimming in the ocean? Professional courtesy.

 

 

 

17. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you die.

 

 

 

18. What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer at lunchtime? We should do this again tomorrow, but with a client.

 

 

 

19. How can you tell if an attorney is well-hung? You can’t get your finger between the rope and their neck.

 

 

 

20. Why did the lawyer go to law school? Because they couldn’t pass the bar.

 

 

 

21. What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

 

 

 

22. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just object to the brightness.

 

 

 

23. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a sperm cell? The sperm cell has a one in million chance of becoming a human being.

 

 

 

24. Why did God invent lawyers? So real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

 

 

 

25. Why did the lawyer go to therapy? They needed someone to listen to their objections.

 

 

 

 

 

Hey there, thanks for taking the time to read through our collection of “25 Legal Laughs”! We hope you’ve enjoyed these humorous anecdotes and jokes about the legal world. We know that law can often feel heavy and serious, so we wanted to lighten things up a bit and hopefully bring a smile to your face.