20 Finance Humor Lines

20 Finance Humor Lines

20 Finance Humor Lines



Looking for some laughs to lighten up your finance-related conversations? Look no further! Here are 20 finance humor lines that will have you and your friends cracking up.




  1. “A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it starts to rain.” – Robert Frost

  1. “The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” – Peter Ustinov

  1. “I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.” – Yogi Berra

  1. “Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?” – Alan King

  1. “The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard

  1. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it’s a lot more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.” – Unknown

  1. “A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.” -unknown

  1. “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” – John Barrymore

  1. “I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.” – e.e. Cummings



  1. “A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it stops raining.” – Robert Frost (variation on his original quote)

  1. “Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil.” – Henry Fielding

  1. “Why is it that when we talk to God, we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?” – Lily Tomlin

  1. “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham

  1. “The rich are different from you and me because they have more credit.” – Chris Rock

  1. “You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage work ethic.” – Unknown

  1. “Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” -Steven Wright

  1. “A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it’s sunny.” – Unknown (another variation on Frost’s original quote)

  1. “Why is it that football players are never in a bank?” – Unknown

  1. “Health is the most important thing, and when you don’t have it you realize how unimportant money really is.” – Unknown

  1. “I’m trying to save enough money to quit my job and become a full-time billionaire.” – Unknown







And there you have it – 20 finance humor lines that are sure to bring a smile to your face and liven up any financial conversation. Whether you use them as an icebreaker or just to inject some fun into a boring budget meeting, these lines will definitely make you the life of the party.

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