40 Investment Funnies

 

 

Welcome to our collection of 40 investment funnies that will make you laugh and possibly reevaluate your investment strategy. These jokes are not only funny, but they also offer a different perspective on the world of investments.

 

 

 

 

1. “Money talks, but all mine ever says is ‘goodbye’.” – Unknown

 

2. “A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait for the economy to improve.” – Will Rogers

 

3. “Why does everyone want to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die?” – Unknown

 

4. “The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient.” – Warren Buffett

 

5. “It’s not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for.” – Robert Kiyosaki

 

6. “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.” – Malcolm Forbes

 

7. “My broker said I’m not diversified enough, so I bought another bottle of wine.” – Unknown

 

8. “Buy when everyone else is selling and hold until everyone else is buying. That’s not just a catchy slogan, it’s the very essence of successful investing.” – J. Paul Getty

 

9. “The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient.” – Warren Buffett

 

10. “The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it.” – Edith Wharton

 

11. “I’m not rich, I’m comfortable.” – Franz Kafka

 

12. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.” – David Lee Roth

 

13. “The only way to permanently change the temperature in the room is to reset the thermostat. In the same way, the only way to change your level of financial success ‘permanently’ is to reset your financial thermostat. But it is your choice whether you choose to change.” – T. Harv Eker

 

14. “Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the ‘gotta have it’ scale.” – Zig Ziglar

 

15. “The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient.” – Warren Buffett

 

16. “The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it.” – Edith Wharton

 

17. “The best investment you can make is in yourself.” – Warren Buffett

 

18. “Money won’t create success, the freedom to make it will.” – Nelson Mandela

 

19. “There are two types of people who invest in the stock market: those who think they can predict the market, and those who know they can’t. Both are wrong.” – Unknown

 

20. “The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient.” – Warren Buffett

 

21. “Rule No. 1: Never lose money. Rule No. 2: Never forget rule No.1” – Warren Buffett

 

22. “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham

 

23. “If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.” – Henry Ford

 

24. “Investing should be more like watching paint dry or watching grass grow. If you want excitement, take $800 and go to Las Vegas.” – Paul Samuelson

 

25. “Don’t tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are.” – James W. Frick

 

26. “Invest in yourself. Your career is the engine of your wealth.” – Paul Clitheroe

 

27. “Money won’t create success, the freedom to make it will.” – Nelson Mandela

 

28. “Buy when everyone else is selling and hold until everyone else is buying. That’s not just a catchy slogan, it’s the very essence of successful investing.” – J. Paul Getty

 

29. “A wise person should have money in their head, but not in their heart.” – Jonathan Swift

 

30. “Investing is not about beating others at their game. It’s about controlling yourself at your own game.” – Benjamin Graham

 

31. “The only way to permanently change the temperature in the room is to reset the thermostat. In the same way, the only way to change your level of financial success ‘permanently’ is to reset your financial thermostat. But it is your choice whether you choose to change.” – T. Harv Eker

 

32. “The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient.” – Warren Buffett

 

33. “In investing, what is comfortable is rarely profitable.” – Robert Arnott

 

34. “The individual investor should act consistently as an investor and not as a speculator.” – Benjamin Graham

 

35. “Before you invest in something, make sure you have the stomach for it.” – Unknown

 

36. “It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.” – Warren Buffett

 

37. “Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” – Warren Buffett

 

38. “Formal education will make you living; self-education will make you a fortune.” – Jim Rohn

 

39. “The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient.” – Warren Buffett

 

40. “Successful investing is about managing risk, not avoiding it.” – Benjamin Graham

 

 

So there you have it – 40 investment funnies that will make you laugh and think about your investments in a whole new light! From the ups and downs of the stock market to the eccentricities of financial advisors, these jokes will surely brighten up your day.